This is Becki, the English teacher up in Takanosu - 20 yrs old from Minn - (with Amy's parents) brandishing a "sublime" hat. I don't know what you'd call mine. She's become a good friend and companion here in Japan and will be returning to college at the end of January. We get together every now and again and somehow manage to keep from getting into too much trouble.
11.13.2005
11.10.2005
"the Dacks"
as I will always think of them, got this abbreviated name from Carina and got their own special place in my heart and in my memories from 4 very special treks to Carina's cabin during the 4 October breaks of our 4 crazy years at Houghton. I found it on Kat's flickr photostream and decided that it needed to be blogged. :) I missed our trek this year, but I'm looking forward to what are future one's will look like... however varied and far between.
I miss you girls.
I miss you girls.
11.08.2005
so, I think this is pretty hilarious.
We could all use a little more quality free time to keep us young and full of grace and beauty, right? Well, come to Akita, Japan. It's for sale - a special discount. Hurry while supplies last.
grins
Engrish makes me smile... and laugh out loud. ;)
grins
Engrish makes me smile... and laugh out loud. ;)
11.07.2005
more HAPPY BIRTHDAYs!
So Michelle gave me a great idea... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT! 11/7
As with Michelle, I really only got to know Kat this past year. Two incredible friendships I wasn't expecting, but will continue to cherish for the rest of my life.
I love you, Kat! You were an incredible blessing to me last year and continue to be!
I think late nights were characteristic of the great majority of our time spent together last fall... late nights in the Daily Grind, in the ISA, in the CAB office, in your room, in the kitchen, in the bathroom. grins I guess it didn't really matter where. And somewhere in the midst of all those late nights you grew from a friend to a sister.
I also want to wish AMY a very belated TANJOBI OMEDETO... 10/22
Ames, within the first hour of our first day of getting to know one another on Highlander, I wanted to be your friend. And as our friendship grew, I saw in you a beauty and grace that can only be God-given. I loved adopting you into my family (and so did my family). You were my first "international" friend, and you opened my eyes to so much, broadening my perspective, challenging my way of thinking, helping me become prepared for everything I would encounter throughout our 4 years at Houghton... And thank you for teaching me to appreciate baths. grins They will never be the same.
wow. And now I'm in Japan.
I love you both! Feliz cumpleanos!
As with Michelle, I really only got to know Kat this past year. Two incredible friendships I wasn't expecting, but will continue to cherish for the rest of my life.
I love you, Kat! You were an incredible blessing to me last year and continue to be!
I think late nights were characteristic of the great majority of our time spent together last fall... late nights in the Daily Grind, in the ISA, in the CAB office, in your room, in the kitchen, in the bathroom. grins I guess it didn't really matter where. And somewhere in the midst of all those late nights you grew from a friend to a sister.
I also want to wish AMY a very belated TANJOBI OMEDETO... 10/22
Ames, within the first hour of our first day of getting to know one another on Highlander, I wanted to be your friend. And as our friendship grew, I saw in you a beauty and grace that can only be God-given. I loved adopting you into my family (and so did my family). You were my first "international" friend, and you opened my eyes to so much, broadening my perspective, challenging my way of thinking, helping me become prepared for everything I would encounter throughout our 4 years at Houghton... And thank you for teaching me to appreciate baths. grins They will never be the same.
wow. And now I'm in Japan.
I love you both! Feliz cumpleanos!
11.06.2005
2 months into Japan... transitions.
the initial feeling of anxiety and disbelief that "I'm going to teach?!!!" to gradually settling into a teaching routine (if you can call it that! haha grins) complete with all the flexibility I can muster and the life-saving, sanity-saving grace of God... the initial feeling of heartache and loneliness and feeling of loss that comes with leaving people you love so much to realizing again that "there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1), and so my time to be here is good, and God never ceases to amaze me in the incredible ways in which he continues to bless me - a very small and weak "little girl" (as I often feel).
Thinking about "home" - home being the people - still often brings tears to my eyes as my heart lifts you all up in a prayer that catches in my throat - the kind of prayer that words don't suffice to express. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit "prays for us." But even so, Japan is becoming yet another "home" - bit by bit, person by person, name by name, face by face, relationship by relationship. I can't help but love each one.
Thinking about "home" - home being the people - still often brings tears to my eyes as my heart lifts you all up in a prayer that catches in my throat - the kind of prayer that words don't suffice to express. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit "prays for us." But even so, Japan is becoming yet another "home" - bit by bit, person by person, name by name, face by face, relationship by relationship. I can't help but love each one.
11.01.2005
some reflections on prayer...
In the palace of the king there are many rooms and there is a key for each room. An axe, however, is the passkey of all passkeys, for with it one can break through all the doors and all the gates.
Each prayer has its own proper meaning and it is therefore the specific key to a door in the Divine Palace, but a broken heart is an axe which opens all gates.
- Arthur Hertzberg, Judaism
In prayer we shift the center of living from self-consciousness to self-surrender. God is the center toward which all forces tend. He is the source, and we are the flowing of His force, the ebb and flow of His tides.
- Abraham Heschel, The Prophets
Prayer, therefore, is far from sweet and easy. Being the expression of our greatest love, it does not keep pain away from us. Instead, it makes us suffer more since our love for God is a love for a suffering God and our entering into God's intimacy is an entering into the intimacy where all of human suffering is embraced in divine compassion. To the degree that our prayer has become the prayer of our heart we will love more and suffer more, we will see more light and more darkness, more grace and more sin, more of God and more of humanity.
Henry Nouwen, Reaching Out
There is a description of prayer that is more of a poem and meditation than anything else. Here it is:
The important thing about prayer is that it is almost indefinable. You see, it is: hard and sharp, soft and loving, deep and inexpressible, shallow and repetitious, a groaning and a sighing.
A silence and a shouting, a burst of praise digging deep down into loneliness, into me. Loving. Abandonment to despair, a soaring to heights which can only be ecstasy, dull plodding in the grayness of mediocre being - laziness, boredom, resentment.
Questing and questioning, calm reflection, meditation, cogitation. A surprise at sudden joy, a shaft of light, a laser beam. Irritation at not understanding, impatience, pain of mind and body hardly uttered or deeply anguished.
Being together, the stirring of love shallow, then deeper, then deepest. A breathless involvement, a meeting, a longing, a loving, an inpouring...
It sounds exciting, put like that.
It sounds real. An exploration.
A chance to do more than catalogue
and list the things I want,
to an eternal Father Christmas.
The chance of meeting you,
of drawing close to the love that made me,
and keeps me, and knows me.
And, Lord, it's only just begun.
There is so much more of you,
of love, the limitless expanse of knowing you.
I could be frightened, Lord, in this wide country.
I could be lonely, but you are here, with me.
The chance of learning about myself,
of facing up to what I am.
Admitting my resentments,
bringing my anger to you, my disappointments, my frustration.
And finding that when I do,
when I stop struggling and shouting
and let go
you are still there.
Still loving.
Sometimes, Lord, often -
I don't know what to say to you.
But I still come, in quiet
for the comfort of two friends
sitting in silence.
And it's then, Lord, that I learn most from you.
When my mind slows down,
and my heart stops racing.
When I let go and wait in the quiet,
realizing that all the things I was going to ask for
you know already.
Then, Lord, without words,
in the stillness
you are there...
And I love you.
Lord, teach me to pray.
- Eddie Askew, A Silence and a Shouting
Each prayer has its own proper meaning and it is therefore the specific key to a door in the Divine Palace, but a broken heart is an axe which opens all gates.
- Arthur Hertzberg, Judaism
In prayer we shift the center of living from self-consciousness to self-surrender. God is the center toward which all forces tend. He is the source, and we are the flowing of His force, the ebb and flow of His tides.
- Abraham Heschel, The Prophets
Prayer, therefore, is far from sweet and easy. Being the expression of our greatest love, it does not keep pain away from us. Instead, it makes us suffer more since our love for God is a love for a suffering God and our entering into God's intimacy is an entering into the intimacy where all of human suffering is embraced in divine compassion. To the degree that our prayer has become the prayer of our heart we will love more and suffer more, we will see more light and more darkness, more grace and more sin, more of God and more of humanity.
Henry Nouwen, Reaching Out
There is a description of prayer that is more of a poem and meditation than anything else. Here it is:
The important thing about prayer is that it is almost indefinable. You see, it is: hard and sharp, soft and loving, deep and inexpressible, shallow and repetitious, a groaning and a sighing.
A silence and a shouting, a burst of praise digging deep down into loneliness, into me. Loving. Abandonment to despair, a soaring to heights which can only be ecstasy, dull plodding in the grayness of mediocre being - laziness, boredom, resentment.
Questing and questioning, calm reflection, meditation, cogitation. A surprise at sudden joy, a shaft of light, a laser beam. Irritation at not understanding, impatience, pain of mind and body hardly uttered or deeply anguished.
Being together, the stirring of love shallow, then deeper, then deepest. A breathless involvement, a meeting, a longing, a loving, an inpouring...
It sounds exciting, put like that.
It sounds real. An exploration.
A chance to do more than catalogue
and list the things I want,
to an eternal Father Christmas.
The chance of meeting you,
of drawing close to the love that made me,
and keeps me, and knows me.
And, Lord, it's only just begun.
There is so much more of you,
of love, the limitless expanse of knowing you.
I could be frightened, Lord, in this wide country.
I could be lonely, but you are here, with me.
The chance of learning about myself,
of facing up to what I am.
Admitting my resentments,
bringing my anger to you, my disappointments, my frustration.
And finding that when I do,
when I stop struggling and shouting
and let go
you are still there.
Still loving.
Sometimes, Lord, often -
I don't know what to say to you.
But I still come, in quiet
for the comfort of two friends
sitting in silence.
And it's then, Lord, that I learn most from you.
When my mind slows down,
and my heart stops racing.
When I let go and wait in the quiet,
realizing that all the things I was going to ask for
you know already.
Then, Lord, without words,
in the stillness
you are there...
And I love you.
Lord, teach me to pray.
- Eddie Askew, A Silence and a Shouting
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