9.17.2006

venting

applying to grad school is mendokusai and mukatsuku. (loose translation: a pain in the rear-end and it pisses me off/really annoys me) i hate labels. bragging is one of my biggest pet peeves, and braggards annoy me to no end. yet i feel like that is exactly what school (jobs, etc.) ask for. i understand WHY, but i just don't like it. and grad school seems worse. 'look at me! look at me! see what i have done! see what i can do!' i feel like i'm back in grade school standing in a mosaic line of children on the dusty playground waiting for one of the oh-so-cool team captains to pick ME to be on his (there were only ever boy captains. =P) kickball team. 'pick me! i promise i can kick the ball far and run fast!' i was almost always picked among the last, the not-so-able kickers.
ah! frustration!
self-frustration.
*gritting teeth*
but i know, the world is not going to end based on whether or not i get accepted at any one grad school. the world WILL, in fact, keep turning. hard to believe, i know. i will keep breathing. my heart will keep pumping blood through my body. God will keep showing me his way. and so on.

but sometimes it's just nice to vent.

2 comments:

tskd said...

I will write your cover letter and resume FOR you. They'll hire you in a heartbeat with all the amazing things I'd say about you. :)

Try to add the angle of passion. That way, at least some of your accomplishments are couched in passion instead of solely ability.

And good luck. Applications SUCK. :P

Whitfield said...

:) Passion is one thing I definitely have.