This spoke to my heart...
"Every believer knows that Christ went the way of the cross for our sakes. But it is not enough just to know this. Each of us must find the cross. He suffered in vain unless we are willing to die for him as he died for us. Christ's way was a bitter way. It ended in a victory of light and life, but it began in the feeding trough of an animal in a cold stable, and passed through tremendous need: through suffering, denial, betrayal, and finally, complete devastation and death on a cross. If we call ourselves his followers, we must be willing to take the same path.
When a grain of wheat is laid in the earth, it dies. It no longer remains a grain, but through death it brings forth fruit. This is the way of true Christianity. It is the way Jesus went when he died on the cross for each of us. If we want our lives to be fruits of Christ's death on the cross, we cannot remain individual grains. We must be ready to die too...."
Taken from "The Center", J. Heinrich Arnold, Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter
2.21.2008
2.20.2008
Lelei, Psalm 121
My Kenyan friend, Lelei, emailed me recently and asked me to read Psalm 121... He was one of the students (he's just 19), who was right in the middle of all of the political chaos and turmoil in western Kenya...
I lift up my eyes to the hills --
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip --
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches of Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you --
the LORD is you shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm --
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
I lift up my eyes to the hills --
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip --
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches of Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you --
the LORD is you shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm --
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
2.15.2008
"To Know the Cross", Thomas Merton
The Christian must not only accept suffering: he must make it holy. Nothing so easily becomes unholy as suffering.
Merely accepted, suffering does nothing for our souls except, perhaps, to harden them. Endurance alone is no consecration. True asceticism is not a mere cult of fortitude. We can deny ourselves rigorously for the wrong reason and end up by pleasing ourselves mightily with our self-denial.
Suffering is consecrated to God by faith - not by faith in suffering, but by faith in God. Some of us believe in the power and the value of suffering. But such a belief is an illusion. Suffering has no power and no value of its own.
It is valuable only as a test of faith. What if our faith fails the test? Is it good to suffer, then? What if we enter into suffering with a strong faith in suffering, and then discover that suffering destroys us?
To believe in suffering is pride: but to suffer, believing in God, is humility. For pride may tell us that we are strong enough to suffer, that suffering is good for us because we are good. Humility tells us that suffering is an evil which we must always expect to find in our lives because of the evil that is in ourselves. But faith also knows that the mercy of God is given to those who seek him in suffering, and that by his grace we can overcome evil with good. Suffering, then, becomes good by accident, by the good that it enables us to receive more abundantly from the mercy of God. It does not make us good by itself, but it enables us to make ourselves better than we are. Thus, what we consecrate to God in suffering is not our suffering but our selves.
Only the sufferings of Christ are valuable in the sight of God, who hates evil, and to him they are valuable chiefly as a sign. The death of Jesus on the cross has an infinite meaning and value not because it is a death, but because it is the death of the Son of God. The cross of Christ says nothing of the power of suffering or of death. It speaks only of the power of him who overcame both suffering and death by rising from the grave.
The wounds that evil stamped upon the flesh of Christ are to be worshiped as holy not because they are wounds, but because they are his wounds. Nor would we worship them if he had merely died of them, without rising again. For Jesus is not merely someone who once loved us enough to die for us. His love for us is the infinite love of God, which is stronger than all evil and cannot be touched by death.
Suffering, therefore, can only be consecrated to God by one who believes that Jesus is not dead. And it is of the very essence of Christianity to face suffering and death not because they are good, not because they have meaning, but because the resurrection of Jesus has robbed them of their meaning.
To know the cross is not merely to know our own sufferings. For the cross is the sing of salvation, and no one is saved by his own sufferings. To know the cross is to know that we are saved by the sufferings of Christ; more, it is to know the love of Christ who underwent suffering and death in order to save us. It is, then, to know Christ. For to know his love is not merely to know the story of his love, but to experience in our spirit that we are loved by him, and that in his love the Father manifests his own love for us, through his Spirit poured forth into our hearts...
The effect of suffering upon us depends on what we love. If we love only ourselves, suffering is merely hateful. It has to be avoided at all costs. It brings out all the evil that is in us, so that the one who loves only himself will commit any sin and inflict any evil on others merely in order to avoid suffering himself.
Worse, if a person loves himself and learns that suffering in unavoidable, he may even come to take a perverse pleasure in suffering itself, showing that he loves and hates himself at the same time.
In any case, if we love ourselves, suffering inexorably brings out selfishness, and then, after making known what we are, drives us to make ourselves even worse than we are.
If we love others and suffer for them, even without a supernatural love for other people in God, suffering can give us a certain nobility and goodness. It brings out something fine in our natures, and gives glory to God who made us greater than suffering. But in the end a natural unselfishness cannot prevent suffering from destroying us along with all we love.
If we love God, and love others in him, we will be glad to let suffering destroy anything in us that God is pleased to let it destroy, because we know that all it destroys is unimportant. We will prefer to let the accidental trash of life be consumed by suffering in order that his glory may come out clean in everything we do.
If we love God, suffering does not matter. Christ in us, his love, his Passion in us: that is what we care about. Pain does not cease to be pain, but we can be glad of it because it enables Christ to suffer in us and give glory to his Father by being greater, in our hearts, than suffering would ever be.
Siki berurin rana. Be blessed today.
Merely accepted, suffering does nothing for our souls except, perhaps, to harden them. Endurance alone is no consecration. True asceticism is not a mere cult of fortitude. We can deny ourselves rigorously for the wrong reason and end up by pleasing ourselves mightily with our self-denial.
Suffering is consecrated to God by faith - not by faith in suffering, but by faith in God. Some of us believe in the power and the value of suffering. But such a belief is an illusion. Suffering has no power and no value of its own.
It is valuable only as a test of faith. What if our faith fails the test? Is it good to suffer, then? What if we enter into suffering with a strong faith in suffering, and then discover that suffering destroys us?
To believe in suffering is pride: but to suffer, believing in God, is humility. For pride may tell us that we are strong enough to suffer, that suffering is good for us because we are good. Humility tells us that suffering is an evil which we must always expect to find in our lives because of the evil that is in ourselves. But faith also knows that the mercy of God is given to those who seek him in suffering, and that by his grace we can overcome evil with good. Suffering, then, becomes good by accident, by the good that it enables us to receive more abundantly from the mercy of God. It does not make us good by itself, but it enables us to make ourselves better than we are. Thus, what we consecrate to God in suffering is not our suffering but our selves.
Only the sufferings of Christ are valuable in the sight of God, who hates evil, and to him they are valuable chiefly as a sign. The death of Jesus on the cross has an infinite meaning and value not because it is a death, but because it is the death of the Son of God. The cross of Christ says nothing of the power of suffering or of death. It speaks only of the power of him who overcame both suffering and death by rising from the grave.
The wounds that evil stamped upon the flesh of Christ are to be worshiped as holy not because they are wounds, but because they are his wounds. Nor would we worship them if he had merely died of them, without rising again. For Jesus is not merely someone who once loved us enough to die for us. His love for us is the infinite love of God, which is stronger than all evil and cannot be touched by death.
Suffering, therefore, can only be consecrated to God by one who believes that Jesus is not dead. And it is of the very essence of Christianity to face suffering and death not because they are good, not because they have meaning, but because the resurrection of Jesus has robbed them of their meaning.
To know the cross is not merely to know our own sufferings. For the cross is the sing of salvation, and no one is saved by his own sufferings. To know the cross is to know that we are saved by the sufferings of Christ; more, it is to know the love of Christ who underwent suffering and death in order to save us. It is, then, to know Christ. For to know his love is not merely to know the story of his love, but to experience in our spirit that we are loved by him, and that in his love the Father manifests his own love for us, through his Spirit poured forth into our hearts...
The effect of suffering upon us depends on what we love. If we love only ourselves, suffering is merely hateful. It has to be avoided at all costs. It brings out all the evil that is in us, so that the one who loves only himself will commit any sin and inflict any evil on others merely in order to avoid suffering himself.
Worse, if a person loves himself and learns that suffering in unavoidable, he may even come to take a perverse pleasure in suffering itself, showing that he loves and hates himself at the same time.
In any case, if we love ourselves, suffering inexorably brings out selfishness, and then, after making known what we are, drives us to make ourselves even worse than we are.
If we love others and suffer for them, even without a supernatural love for other people in God, suffering can give us a certain nobility and goodness. It brings out something fine in our natures, and gives glory to God who made us greater than suffering. But in the end a natural unselfishness cannot prevent suffering from destroying us along with all we love.
If we love God, and love others in him, we will be glad to let suffering destroy anything in us that God is pleased to let it destroy, because we know that all it destroys is unimportant. We will prefer to let the accidental trash of life be consumed by suffering in order that his glory may come out clean in everything we do.
If we love God, suffering does not matter. Christ in us, his love, his Passion in us: that is what we care about. Pain does not cease to be pain, but we can be glad of it because it enables Christ to suffer in us and give glory to his Father by being greater, in our hearts, than suffering would ever be.
Siki berurin rana. Be blessed today.
2.07.2008
Ash Wednesday on the East Side
This Lenten year... I planned to attend Ash Wednesday service at Westminster Church in Buffalo.
Then Jess got a call yesterday morning from one of our store workers (and friend/little brother/this young man that both of us have come to love so much), Markee, asking if there was any way that we (I) could give him a ride to the East Side to get his birth certificate from his Aunt (his mom isn't present and his dad, well...). He needs his birth certificate so he can finish getting his SS card so that he can get some photo ID so he can get his permit... you get the picture. It's so despairingly sad sometimes, to realize just how much our "system" sets up failure for those who needs its help the most. Markee is one of the fortunate ones... at least he knew his aunt had his birth certificate. Quite a few others have absolutely no idea, or their mom/dad took everything when they left, or it burned in a fire, or it was stolen when their apt was robbed.
But I digress.
Admittedly, I wasn't too excited about driving to the East Side (also referred to as the "[something] war zone") as dark was encroaching on us and the streets were quickly being overgrown with layer upon layer of frozen ice chunkies falling from a seemingly revengeful sky. Scary under my perceived "normal" country conditions let alone driving in the midst of some crazy Buffalo traffic. Not thrilled, but who else did Markee have to take him...? Seriously, nobody. Jess. Me. That's it. And he doesn't have enough money for bus fare. Sobering thought....
So we get to his aunt's house, and he hops out and says he'll be right back... Markee is better at African time than Africans I think. grins (That's not meant offensively by any means!) So close to 40 min later, Jess and I decided that we'll give him "ONE MORE MINUTE". So, out we went in search for Markee, and I in search of their bathroom, and though we found both we also found something that we weren't at all expecting...
An aunt committed to Christ and to her confused at life, errant, lost in his heart Nephew. By the way that both she and Markee's older cousin Douglas peeled into him, it was obvious that they cared deeply for him, and most especially his aunt. "Markee! Y'need to stop messin' aROUND! Git oughta dat mess you in and staat PRAYIN'!! What you doin'?! I done took you ta chaach growin' up! You KNOW how ta make yaself right wi da LORD! You betta start readin' yoa Bible - you got a Bible??! You betta staat prayin' cuz da only one dat can help you outta dat mess you in is JEsus! I'm serious Markee! Stop messin' wit dem druugs and smokin' and all dat! An' stop bein' lazy an' get yoself outta bed in da mornin' and get ta chaach! An' if ya can't read dat Bible you got, den sleep on it! Put it right unda yo PILLOW an' maybe somepin be happenin' when you's aSLEEP! Da only reason you's alive ri'now is cuz da Lord's hand be upon you! But da Lord ain'gonna keep helpin' you if you keep ignorin' him - da mo' you ASK da mo' you RECEIVE!! An' Jesus be da only one dat can help you straighten things out! You listenin' ta me?! I'm serious Markee!"
Wow. I was totally floored. Everything his aunt and cousin said to him had exclamation marks, and for a few brief (20-30 or so) minutes, Jess and I were in a completely different world than the ones we'd grown up in or had ever known. I got my Ash Wednesday service, but from a minister I hadn't foreseen, in a church I didn't know existed, and with sinners who know about God's grace and provision through Jesus Christ more deeply and profoundly than I ever have, and in a different way than I ever will.
The beginning of this Lenten year left me completely exhausted, shattered, physically and emotionally... and maybe spiritually too. The very first day it pried my old eyes away from me (not exactly an easy accomplishment), and started forming new ones in their stead. They're still being formed. Ash Wednesday told me, 'Here. Le'me show you what sacrifice be meanin' HERE. Let me show you what Lent be here. East Side AND West Side. You know what Lent is in a white chaach wi' white friends wi' a white pastor, and dem things be good, bu' you don' know what Lent be fo' us. An' den you be one of us too. Well... maybe no' quite, but at least you understan' different.'
And so I am....
Then Jess got a call yesterday morning from one of our store workers (and friend/little brother/this young man that both of us have come to love so much), Markee, asking if there was any way that we (I) could give him a ride to the East Side to get his birth certificate from his Aunt (his mom isn't present and his dad, well...). He needs his birth certificate so he can finish getting his SS card so that he can get some photo ID so he can get his permit... you get the picture. It's so despairingly sad sometimes, to realize just how much our "system" sets up failure for those who needs its help the most. Markee is one of the fortunate ones... at least he knew his aunt had his birth certificate. Quite a few others have absolutely no idea, or their mom/dad took everything when they left, or it burned in a fire, or it was stolen when their apt was robbed.
But I digress.
Admittedly, I wasn't too excited about driving to the East Side (also referred to as the "[something] war zone") as dark was encroaching on us and the streets were quickly being overgrown with layer upon layer of frozen ice chunkies falling from a seemingly revengeful sky. Scary under my perceived "normal" country conditions let alone driving in the midst of some crazy Buffalo traffic. Not thrilled, but who else did Markee have to take him...? Seriously, nobody. Jess. Me. That's it. And he doesn't have enough money for bus fare. Sobering thought....
So we get to his aunt's house, and he hops out and says he'll be right back... Markee is better at African time than Africans I think. grins (That's not meant offensively by any means!) So close to 40 min later, Jess and I decided that we'll give him "ONE MORE MINUTE". So, out we went in search for Markee, and I in search of their bathroom, and though we found both we also found something that we weren't at all expecting...
An aunt committed to Christ and to her confused at life, errant, lost in his heart Nephew. By the way that both she and Markee's older cousin Douglas peeled into him, it was obvious that they cared deeply for him, and most especially his aunt. "Markee! Y'need to stop messin' aROUND! Git oughta dat mess you in and staat PRAYIN'!! What you doin'?! I done took you ta chaach growin' up! You KNOW how ta make yaself right wi da LORD! You betta start readin' yoa Bible - you got a Bible??! You betta staat prayin' cuz da only one dat can help you outta dat mess you in is JEsus! I'm serious Markee! Stop messin' wit dem druugs and smokin' and all dat! An' stop bein' lazy an' get yoself outta bed in da mornin' and get ta chaach! An' if ya can't read dat Bible you got, den sleep on it! Put it right unda yo PILLOW an' maybe somepin be happenin' when you's aSLEEP! Da only reason you's alive ri'now is cuz da Lord's hand be upon you! But da Lord ain'gonna keep helpin' you if you keep ignorin' him - da mo' you ASK da mo' you RECEIVE!! An' Jesus be da only one dat can help you straighten things out! You listenin' ta me?! I'm serious Markee!"
Wow. I was totally floored. Everything his aunt and cousin said to him had exclamation marks, and for a few brief (20-30 or so) minutes, Jess and I were in a completely different world than the ones we'd grown up in or had ever known. I got my Ash Wednesday service, but from a minister I hadn't foreseen, in a church I didn't know existed, and with sinners who know about God's grace and provision through Jesus Christ more deeply and profoundly than I ever have, and in a different way than I ever will.
The beginning of this Lenten year left me completely exhausted, shattered, physically and emotionally... and maybe spiritually too. The very first day it pried my old eyes away from me (not exactly an easy accomplishment), and started forming new ones in their stead. They're still being formed. Ash Wednesday told me, 'Here. Le'me show you what sacrifice be meanin' HERE. Let me show you what Lent be here. East Side AND West Side. You know what Lent is in a white chaach wi' white friends wi' a white pastor, and dem things be good, bu' you don' know what Lent be fo' us. An' den you be one of us too. Well... maybe no' quite, but at least you understan' different.'
And so I am....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)