my weakness (one of many)

"Between heaven and earth lies the firmament of our prayers."

Much of this year (the past month giving testimony), is going to be about prayer - God teaching me how to have direct, meaningful communion with him. Most of my experience in praying has been through pain and loneliness... now especially, loneliness. I've no one else to talk to, to go to. As horrible as that sounds, it's the honest truth. I'm going to learn the hard way how to better commune with the Lord, have a better relationship with him, because it seems in this case that it's the only way I'm going to learn anything. Truthfully, I'm very lazy when it comes to prayer. I like to be busy (with periods of rest inbetween to catch up with myself), and I like to DO, and I like to be with people (friends, etc.). So, finding a quiet place to spend time praying is one of the things that gets set on the back burner first. Bad idea. And I honestly don't understand why I do it - because I feel the difference between when I've spent time praying, and when I've let it wane. It's also easier for me to pick up a book and read about prayer instead of actually praying (or even write about praying... grins). Reading girl meets GOD by Lauren Winner, I relate well to her in her struggle to maintain any sort of regular prayer life - not even a prayer life - just something as simple (seemingly) as a prayer time. Right now I'm incredibly excited about a book I found on the stacks of the humble library in Araya Church. Between Heaven and Earth by Ken Gire. In reading about prayer I feel like I prayed... kind of. With the exception that nothing substitutes the real thing. So, I guess right now my prayer is, "Lord, teach me to pray!"