Now numbered among mine is
Blue Like Jazz.
a chink off the iceberg...
"The thing I have to work on in myself is this issue of belief. Gandhi believed Jesus when He said to turn the other cheek. Gandhi brought down the British Empire, deeply injured the caste system, and changed the world. Mother Teresa believed Jesus when He said everybody was priceless, even the ugly ones, the smelly ones, and Mother Teresa changed the world by showing them that a human being can be selfless. Peter finally believed the gospel after he got yelled at by Paul. Peter and Paul changed the world by starting small churches in godless towns.
Eminem believes he is a better rapper than other rappers. Profound. Let's all follow Eminem.
Here is the trick, and here is my point. Satan, who I believe exists as much as I believe Jesus exists, wants us to believe meaningless things for meaningless reasons. Can you imagine if Christians actually believed God was trying to rescue us from the pit of our own self-addiction? Can you imagine? Can you imagine what Americans would do if they understood over half the world was living in poverty? Do you think they would change the way they live, the products they purchase, and the politicians they elect? If we believed the right things, the true things, there wouldn't be very many problems on earth.
But the trouble with deep belief is that it costs something. And there is something inside me, some selfish beast of a subtle thing that doesn't like the truth at all because it carries responsibility, and if I actually believe these things I have to do something about them.
......
... what I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do."
convicting as hell. what am i doing with what i believe...? and if i'm NOT doing, do i really believe it... or am i just mindlessly following. not something i want to do, regardless of how "cool" something may be. so many times i want to be someone i'm not, something i'm not, somewhere i'm not, with someone i'm not... but what about using and working with and loving who and what's been given to me. and i think that's one of the hardest things in life... learning what to do with yourself when you see all these other amazing people out there doing amazing things, and you think... why can't i do that, be that, be there, think like that, write like that... whatever like whatever. but then i think to myself - Rachel, you're being dumb. don't you believe
anything of what you've read and learned and studied and felt in the very depths of your being from God? you can't believe
only pieces of God. don't you believe him when he says that he knit you together in your mother's womb? don't you believe that you are only one very small part of the very big body of Christ with Christ himself as your head... and that God made you the part he did for a reason? is a piece of clay, a vessel, in the position to ask the potter why he chose to make him/her the way he did? do you not believe Jesus Christ when he said that he loved you before the creation of the world...? He loved you before the creation of the world. Before the creation of the WORLD!
convicted? yes. working out my salvation day by day and in fear and trembing? yes. failing miserably? most definitely often. persevering? most definitely. loved regardless? beyond the shadow of a doubt. Christ's passion
is my passion. The Christ who fed the hungry, healed the sick and lame and blind, cast out demons, overturned tables (of all sorts, not just the wooden ones), gave dignity to the shamed, lifted women up from their place with the dogs, had compassion on the dust of the earth, loved the ugly (not speaking of outward appearance), called the self-righteous religious authorities a brood of vipers, prayed for those who persecuted, mocked, humiliated, tortured and executed him, changed the face of the world...
this is the Christ I am passionate about and with,
this is the Christ I desire to serve, and serve by his grace alone. and Lord, God, help me.
