nothing. i have looked at my computer screen blankly, read several paragraphs of several different articles about failed rural development programs in China and retained not a blessed word of it, checked out books at the library - this i did succeed at. not a difficult task. looked at my computer screen blankly. fallen into great pools of distressful thoughts about circumstances and situations completely beyond my control... most likely where they should be - out of my control, that is. if they were in my control i would probably act in self interest - yes, selfishly - and not in the interest of the other(s) involved. good thing i'm not in control, eh? have i kicked the dead horse enough times? running on two hours of sleep does not so pleasant things to my thought processes... it screws around with them, playing dirty tricks with my mostly rational (at least I think) mind (it's probably more irrational than rational, really), throwing it into spiraling conduits, alternating misery and joy. why do i torture myself like this?? go to bed, girl!
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