3.31.2006

the search is on...

Unfortunately, the internship with ECHO did not work out. That's ok. I must admit, I'm a little disappointed, but I made a really important decision about 3 years ago to pry my death-gripping hands off of my plans and place said plans in the hands of God... and so he continues to teach me how to do this. One of those life lessons that happens to take your whole life to learn. :P grins

So, a confession of sorts. Graduate school is really intimidating for me. I think for the most part I'm a pretty confident person, with definite exceptions. I think the biggest reason applying to a graduate program is so intimidating is because I hate competition and I hate being compared with other people. I really do. Because of the way each one of our minds work, we're wired to compare one one another and find worth and value in some things and not in others. And graduate program applications are a combination of competition and comparison... and I'm afraid of falling short, not being enough, not having the value or worth that they are looking for. And that drives me nuts. It bothers me that I'm forced into being a part of 2 things I hate, and it drives me nuts that I care so much what others think of me - applicant reviewers or otherwise, that I hang so much of my identity and confidence on "you are accepted".

But even though the thought of graduate school is truly intimidating for me, this got me excited: UC Davis International Agricultural Development Graduate Program. And the fact that they have a ton of internship opportunities in Latin America... well, that just puts them on all kinds of the good sides of me. grins

So, here's another beginning. The search is indeed on .

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