Recently I've been drawn to 1 Corinthians 1:18-31. Japan is a country of ranking, and if you’re not ranked among a group, if you're the out person, then you are really OUT. No redemption, no hope, no mercy. You don't fit, so you're on your own, sink or swim. The only relief from this hopelessness is the hope of Jesus Christ given to people through the church. And so rereading those familiar verses here in Japan has opened my eyes in a way I've never experienced before. I've grown up in the N. American culture and I'm familiar with its rankings. I've studied enough about the world to be familiar with the way we as nations rank ourselves... 1st and 3rd... developed... developing... underdeveloped... undeveloped. And now here in Japan rank is everything. Your social group is everything. Your high school, your college, your job, and those of your children define your rank - your personhood. I consider these and go back to 1 Corinthians and read Paul’s Spirit-inspired words again - such an incredibly starch contrast! The weak things, the lowly things, the despised things, the things that are not to nullify the things that are… And this is exactly where Jesus walked; these people are the people he walked with. And this is where and with whom he asks us - me - to walk.
I’m continually learning that it’s when I’m out of my comfort zone and away from home that I learn the most about God – college, Central America, and now Japan. These mark turning points in my life, deeper revelations into the God I serve because I’m more open to change. I’m seeking, and letting go of images and assumptions of God that I hadn’t realized were so incomplete and so wholly self-constructed until those points. It is in these situations that God has seen fit to rock my boat, shatter my images, bring me to my knees, strip away my comfortableness with who I think God is, and humble my proud assumptions of him, myself, the church, and the world in which I live. And in turn, causes me to cling to Him anew as he shows me more of who he is, and how he works in and through and in spite of us. Showing me over and over again that although “he isn’t safe… he’s good.”
I’ve also been stretched in my loneliness and aloneness while in Japan. I love being in community, especially those people I have grown to love and cherish. God blessed me with some amazing friendships through my time at Houghton College; peers and professors alike that I consider more family than friends. The hardest thing that I’ve experienced while in Japan has been being away from that steadfast and ever-present community. I didn’t realize how deep my roots had grown there until I started to uproot them. Very painful indeed. Yet the Lord met and continues to meet me in my brokenness and heartbrokenness. He held my heart in his hands and filled it in prayer, through reading the Word, and in being so lonely that I couldn’t but turn to him in everything. And of course, the longer I have been here the more friendships I have made and relationships I have built. I am knitting and being knit into a community here in Akita, Japan. And my faith is continually being stretched through these relationships as I seek to know these people and be known in return. I still struggle with the aloneness that comes with having those closest to me be so far away and scattered all over the world. But it is an aloneness that is full, not empty. An aloneness that is hopeful and expectant, not despairing.
3 comments:
It seems in the past 8 months of DC I have lost my way with words. So I am left to the simplicity of..."Rachel, I love you so so much and I am so blessed to have you as my friend and in my life."
Ah, Rachel Dawn, how I wish that I could fly to Japan right now and spend a week, or a month, with you! To meet Naoko and all the people with whom you have been growing a new community, to see your apartment and the apples in your bathroom, to drink tea and talk and laugh and swap backrubs and smile because God is so good. Because He IS! Because at all times, even in hardship or situations that are painful and lonely and uncomfortable and we don't understand, He is always worthy of our trust. Thank you for the reminder that growth is often uncomfortable, and that as we grow in wisdom and maturity (often painfully slowly...), we don't seem to have a better handle on who God is, but rather He just keeps getting bigger and bigger! I love it. I think that one of the next books on my list may be either "Your God is Too Safe" by Mark Buchanan, or "Your God is Too Small" by JB Phillips. The more you learn, the more you realize that there is so much more to learn!!!! :)
I love you, Rach. I am so glad that having a continent and an ocean separating us doesn't mean that we all of a sudden have no involvement in each others' lives! Thank God for blogs and letters and Skype prayers! Un abrazo,
~Bexx
Hey Rach, good post. Rankings do get bothersome and old. I've been trying for some time now to become the most attractive man in the world. But alas, I'm still only the second best looking. Stupid Kiefer Sutherland. I'm glad you're doing well. I definitely understand what you mean about the lonliness. But I guess there's a season for everything. Take care,
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